If you have enjoyed the collection of "Top 50 Programming Quotes", I'm sure you would love these funny computer-related quotes that I have put together. Although some of which are pretty old already, they can still tickle a geek's funny bone.
Now get ready and enjoy this compilation of my top 50 funny computer quotes:
50. "Some things Man was never meant to know. For everything else, there's Google."
49. "Failure is not an option -- it comes bundled with Windows."
48. "Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music."
47. "COBOL programmers understand why women hate periods."
46. "Artificial Intelligence usually beats natural stupidity."
45. "To err is human... to really foul up requires the root password."
44. "Like car accidents, most hardware problems are due to driver error."
43. "If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0"
42. "If Python is executable pseudocode, then perl is executable line noise."
41. "Programmers are tools for converting caffeine into code."
40. "Why do we want intelligent terminals when there are so many stupid users?"
39. "I can't uninstall it, there seems to be some kind of 'Uninstall Shield'."
38. "See daddy ? All the keys are in alphabetical order now."
37. "Hey! It compiles! Ship it!"
36. "SUPERCOMPUTER: what it sounded like before you bought it."
35. "Yo moma is like HTML: Tiny head, huge body."
34. "Windows Vista: It's like upgrading from Bill Clinton to George W. Bush."
33. "The more I C, the less I see."
32. "Life would be so much easier if we only had the source code."
31. "My software never has bugs. It just develops random features."
30. "The only problem with troubleshooting is that sometimes trouble shoots back."
29. "Crap... Someone knocked over my recycle bin... There's icons all over my desktop..."
28. "Relax, its only ONES and ZEROS !"
27. "rm -rf /bin/laden"
26. "I don't care if you ARE getting a PhD in it ! Get away from that damn computer and go find a woman !"
25. "The great thing about Object Oriented code is that it can make small, simple problems look like large, complex ones."
24. "If brute force doesn't solve your problems, then you aren't using enough."
23. “Programming is like sex, one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.”
22. "Unix is user-friendly. It's just very selective about who its friends are."
21. Microsoft: "You've got questions. We've got dancing paperclips."
20. "I'm not anti-social; I'm just not user friendly"
19. The world is coming to an end... SAVE YOUR BUFFERS !"
18. "If you don't want to be replaced by a computer, don't act like one."
17. "Better to be a geek than an idiot."
16. "I went to a gentleman's cybercafe — and they offered me a 'laptop dance'."
15. "After Perl everything else is just assembly language."
14. "The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are FBI agents."
13. "There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't."
12. "Difference between a virus and windows ? Viruses rarely fail."
11. "Hacking is like sex. You get in, you get out, and hope that you didn't leave something that can be traced back to you."
10. "1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d"
9. "Helpdesk: There is an icon on your computer labeled "My Computer". Double click on it.
User: What's your computer doing on mine?"
8. “I think Microsoft named .Net so it wouldn’t show up in a Unix directory listing.”
7. “If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.”
6. "Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer."
5. “Any fool can use a computer. Many do.”
4. “Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.”
3. "Those who can't write programs, write help files."
2. "You know you're a geek when... You try to shoo a fly away from the monitor with your cursor. That just happened to me. It was scary."
1. “Computer language design is just like a stroll in the park. Jurassic Park, that is.”
HP Pavilion dm1z
Just because the once-hot netbook category is getting pushed aside by tablets, that doesn't mean consumers don't want a low-cost ultraportable that performs. And that's what HP has delivered with the new Pavilion dm1z, an 11-inch notebook featuring AMD's new Fusion processor. Starting at $449 ($479 as configured), this 3.4-pound machine blows past Atom-based netbooks while providing enough endurance to see you through the day. Add to that a stylish design, excellent audio, and a comfy keyboard, and you've got a superior take-anywhere laptop. Price: $479.00
Best All-Purpose Notebook
Samsung SF510
Ivory and brown? Yes, and it works. The $629 Samsung SF510--a Best Buy exclusive--is a budget-friendly laptop with plenty of flair. Armed with an Intel Core i3 CPU, this 15-inch notebook is an excellent choice for consumers looking for something powerful enough for everyday computing in a curvy design that is anything but ho-hum. Price: $629.00
Best Thin-and-Light Notebook
Apple MacBook Pro 13-inch
The outside looks the same, but the guts of the 2010 version of the 13-inch MacBook Pro have been revamped. This thin-and-light laptop now features a faster processor and double the graphics performance. Better yet, it lasts nearly 8 hours on a charge, about an hour and a half longer than its predecessor. While $1,199 is on the pricey side these days for a notebook, the MacBook Pro delivers great performance and endurance in a attractive and comfortable design that's easy to take with you. Lowest Price: $1,199.00
Best Netbook
Samsung NF310
If you're going to shell out $399 for a netbook, it has to be special. The Samsung NF310 makes the case for its premium price with a futuristic-chic design, a dual-core Atom processor, and a high-resolution display (1366 x 768) for a 10-inch screen. While this mini laptop doesn't offer the longest battery life, it's an excellent choice. Price: $399.00
Best Ultraportable Notebook
Apple MacBook Air 13-inch (2010)
It's as if the 13-inch MacBook Pro won The Biggest Loser. Meet the new 13-inch MacBook Air, which weighs 1.5 pounds lighter than its beefier brother and packs in enough horsepower to be your primary computer. Starting at $1,299, this ultraportable isn't cheap, but it costs $200 less than the last 13-inch Air, lasts more than three times longer on a charge, and features a higher resolution display than both its predecessor and the 13-inch Pro. Plus, like the 11-inch Air, this laptop's all flash storage enables a lightning-fast boot time and allows it to wake instantly from sleep. Yes, you can snag a Windows ultraportable with a faster processor for hundreds less, but if you want a mobile Mac this machine is almost perfect. Lowest Price: $1,248.89
Best Gaming Notebook
ASUS G73Jw-A1
Last Spring, ASUS wowed us with its G73Jh gaming notebook, and now the company is back with a refreshed version that pairs the same great design with a faster processor, a more powerful Nvidia GTX 460 graphics chip, and a USB 3.0 port for good measure. But are the improved specs enough to give this system a leg up on the competition. Lowest Price: $1,711.98
Best Small Business Notebook
Dell Vostro V3300
As much as we liked the looks and ultrathin profile of the Vostro V13, Dell's fashion statement in a small business notebook didn't last very long a charge and didn't have a lot of speed. The Dell Vostro V3300 ($822 as configured) is the machine for those who want strong performance and good looks in one package. We really liked this laptop's brushed aluminum lid and Core i5 power, as well as its keyboard. You'll need the extended battery to make it through marathon meetings, but overall the V3300 delivers plenty of value. Lowest Price: $670.00
Best Business Notebook
Lenovo ThinkPad T410s (Nvidia Optimus)
It's so fast, it's almost obscene. And it's not just a top-of-the-line Core i5 processor that makes this sub 4-pound ultraportable such a beast. The latest version of the ThinkPad T410s (starting at $1,699, $1,779 as tested) is the first business notebook to feature Nvidia Optimus technology, which switches automatically between integrated graphics and a dedicated GPU and allows the T410s to power up to three external displays at once. And don't forget the blazing solid state drive, which opens applications before you can say "click." Plus, you get all the features that make a ThinkPad a ThinkPad, including a best-in-class keyboard. We just have one issue with this speedster, which can be addressed with an upgrade. Lowest Price: $1,526.00
Best Multimedia Notebook
HP Envy 14
About a year has passed since HP released its Envy 13 and 15, high-style notebooks aimed directly at Apple's MacBook Pros. We generally liked the designs of these metal-bodied machines, but their high prices and mediocre ergonomics dampened our enthusiasm. Now here comes the Envy 14, which starts at $999 ($1,289 as configured). HP has tweaked the design by adding an optical drive and a backlit keyboard, but the most intriguing change is the new display size of 14.5 inches. This screen puts the Envy 14 smack dab in between the 13-inch and 15-inch MacBook, and its Core i5 processor and ATI switchable graphics offer comparable performance to Apple's premium portables. More imporantly, HP has updated its touchpad so that it's much easier to use. The brilliant Radiance display is ideal for movies and games, and the notebook's Beats Audio is a pleasure for the ears. So is the Envy 14 the complete package we want it to be? Price: $1,289.00
Best Tablet
Apple iPad (I suggest Samsung Galaxy Tab)
When was the last time you called a computer fun? That's exactly what the iPad is, which is a testament to Apple's uncanny ability to integrate content with hardware so well you nearly forget there's a device in your hands. Whether you're surfing the Web, tearing around the track in a racing game, or reading one of thousands of eBooks on the multitouch display, this beautifully-designed tablet raises the bar. Lowest Price: $479.00
Extra
The Five Best Netbooks
VPNs are always handy if you want to securely connect to networks and also help you browse anonymously. VPNs can also be helpful if you want to browse blocked sites like Twitter or Facebook. We had covered best free VPN services available and now we have a giveaway by Cyberghost where they are providing FREE one year Premium VPN account worth 79,99 EUR. Their premium account has 10GB of data transfer and you also have 2GB data safe.
How to Get the Premium account for 1 year
1. Visit This Page and register for your free account.
2. Once you have registered, you can now login with your credentials. After logging in, go to the My Account link on the top and then select “Activate Serial Number” option from the right sidebar.
3. Under the Serial Number or Promotion code, enter the code quale157 and click Add. Once it confirms, you can click on my subscription and can see the premium account activated for one year.
4. To set up VPN on your Windows, you need to download the app from HERE. You will need to login to your account once you have set up the application.
You can access both the free and premium servers using this tool.
VPN (Virtual Private Network) is a way of secure and reliable communication between some restricted sites and remote users. This is applicable for companies operating in different geographical locations with loads of employees working from home, different offices etc. In that case, employees may use VPN tunnel to access their company’s website or portal to access the data. Now this secure and reliable service or way of communication can be used to access some blocked sites as well.
For example, If you are not able to open twitter, Hulu, Pendora or Windows Live or restricted sites on your office desktop or laptop, then you may use a VPN service and open that without any problem.
1. LogMeIn Hamachi
LogMeIn is a well known remote desktop support provider. They also offer free VPN service under Hamachi name thru which you can access blocked sites from your office area or blocked area. Use this VPN service in Wi-Fi area to access sites securely.
Hamachi is VPN software that uses a mediation server to establish peer-to-peer connections over UDP. Hamachi is free for non-commercial use.
https://secure.logmein.com
2. Cisco VPN Client
The Cisco VPN client software supports IPSec connections to Cisco VPN concentrators. This VPN software application runs on Windows, Linux and Mac OS X.
http://tools.cisco.com/support/downloads/pub/Redirect.x?mdfid=270636499
3. OpenVPN
OpenVPN is SSL-based open source VPN software. OpenVPN runs on Windows, Linux and Mac OS X operating systems.
http://openvpn.net/download.html
4. HideIP
It is a free VPN service for US / UK sites. You can stat browsing anonymously by using this free service. HideipVPN offers limited number of free accounts every month. Currently they are offering 100 free accounts every month starting from 1’st of each month at 10:00AM GMT+2. So get ready to have a free account on 1‘st of this month.
HideIP is a VPN service designed to provide anonymous Internet access based in part on OpenVPN technology. HideIP servers use IP addresses based in the United States and United Kingdom, enabling folks in other countries to reach Web sites that limit access based on address geography. Free HideIP service is available in limited quantity, while the subscription service costs about USD $10 per month.
http://www.hideipvpn.com
5. Shimo 2
Apple Mac OS X contains built-in support for virtual private networking. Shimo is a GUI client for Mac OS X computers. The newer Shimo 2 version not only works as a substitute for the Cisco VPN Client on Macs, but it is also compatible with other PPTP, L2TP and SSH based VPN technologies including Hamachi and OpenVPN.
http://www.macupdate.com/info.php/id/22929
6. Tinc VPN
The free Tinc VPN software enables virtual private networking via low-level daemon / network device configuration. Designed originally for Linux / Unix networks, Tinc also works on Windows computers.
http://www.tinc-vpn.org
7. FreeS/WAN
FreeS/WAN is an IPSec VPN software solution for Linux networks. Active development of FreeS/WAN has stopped, making this solution of interest mainly to students and researchers.
http://www.freeswan.org
8. Loke VPN Client
Download link: http://www.projectloki.com/download/LokiVPNClientSetup.zip
You can login as guest to use this VPN service for free: http://www.projectloki.com
9. OpenVPN
OpenVPN is software for Virtual Private Networking (VPN). OpenVPN can be downloaded and used for free. It runs on Windows, Linux and Mac OS X operating systems and is developed and maintained by an Internet open source community.
I liked this service because we only need to install a small software on our computers. It will create a network connection in the Network Connections. it uses the built-in VPN and networking features in Windows to connect to the VPN Tool network. When you register, a username and password will be shown instantaneously.
http://www.vpntool.com
10. Its Hidden
Its Hidden is a new service that I have come across. It has a very fast connection and no restrictions are applied. I recommend this service because there is no need to install any software. We have to make a VPN connection through Windows Network Connections and we’re ready to go. Unfortunately I couldn’t get the screenshot of the service as the service is unavailable for a few days due to server loads.
http://itshidden.com
11. AlonWeb
AlonWeb is a free VPN provider. It uses the standard OpenVPN tunneling service by hiding your real IP address enabling you to visit some restricted websites, but injects advertisements to the pages a user browses through their service. The servers are located in the Netherlands and Panama. You have to choose the server on the website. Users are allowed to transfer 1GB of traffic every month. That is enough to browse normal websites, but not for downloading music or movies. With Alonweb you automatically use the OpenDNS-Servers.
http://alonweb.com
12. PacketiX.NET
This VPN technology is developed by SoftEther Corporation. You can use this test server for free access of your favorite sites and blocked sites in different geographic locations. You can access Internet from Unsecured locations like Wi-Fi enabled Hotels, Airports and even on untrustworthy ISPs.
PacketiX.NET is a Japan VPN service. It is actually a premium service, but they have PacketiX.NET online test service as well which is free to use. The service is fast and reliable and it is easy to use as well. Just download the VPN connection manager, install and connect!
http://www.packetix.net/
13. UltraVPN
UltraVPN is a French VPN client that hides your connection from unwanted ears and allows you to use blocked application. It is also based on OpenVPN service. Traffic is quota is unlimited. Bandwidth is up to 500Ko/s depending on network conditions.
Very simple to use but efficient VPN client. You can access the restricted sites with this service without any issue. UltraVPN is based on OpenVPN which encrypts the network connection. Because of that no one can track your connection. If the access to Internet is restricted in your office or other places, you can use UltraVPN for secure connection and access the restricted sites.
https://www.ultravpn.fr
14. AlwaysVPN
AlwaysVPN is always used as VPN to protect public WiFi hotspot session, but its usage is not limited for security Wi-Fi wireless connection. AlwaysVPN’s server is based in United States which means that it can be used to access sites like Hulu, Sling etc which work only for US proxies. AlwaysVPN can be used without limit on traffic or bandwidth or speed.
Update: AlwaysVPN is no longer free, it has become prepaid service. (shit!)
https://ssl.alwaysvpn.com
15. CyberGhost
CyberGhost is a free VPN service from Germany which helps you route you through a German IP. The free service is limited to 10GB traffic every month, which is more than enough for surfing on websites, chatting and email. The paid service is also affordable.
http://www.cyberghostvpn.com
16. FreeVPN
With FreeVPN, you can access Sites from USA, UK, Canada, Germany, Italy, Sweden, France, China without any issue. Access blocked sites like hulu.com, pandora.com, ABC.com, BB.co.uk and much more even when you are in other country. Blocked sites are accessible without any problem.
http://thefreevpn.com
17. Hotspot
Hotspot Shield is a free VPN service which can be used for accessing Internet even by hiding your own IP address. It is available for PC (Windows XP, Vista, Windows 7) as well as Mac. For anonymous use of Internet, you can use Hotspot Shield VPN service.
http://hotspotshield.com
18. JAP
Jap is a research project which offers free VPN service. You can use this service to connect thru Internet and access your favorite sites. The service is not much reliable but you can use this one in case other doesn’t work.
http://anon.inf.tu-dresden.de/index_en.html
19. GPass
Another great yet free VPN service. GPass is a really cool VPN where you can stream audio/video, email, instant messaging line Window messenger etc without any problem. Even you can use Download Manager to download stuffs from your favorite place.
http://gpass1.com/gpass
20. Wippien
Wippien features VPN through your existing contact lists (MSN, ICQ, AIM, etc.). All file transfers and connections are secure and encrypted. Wippien also supports IRC, and even has its own private chat where you can join other Wippien users. To set it up to use an existing IM account, Wippien first requires a “Jabber” account, which you’ll be able to do on the setup page. If you don’t have an one, simply create one on the setup screen by clicking “I need new Jabber account” and enter the required fields - it’s that easy!
http://www.wippien.com
21. SSL Explorer (Community Edition)
SSL-Explorer is the world’s first open-source, browser-based SSL VPN solution. This unique remote access control solution provides you with a means of securely accessing intranet applications and resources using a standard web browser. Our notes: Installation is somewhat lengthy, but a great image-based quick start PDF guide comes with the installation package. Being relatively new software, SSL Explorer is still in beta stages of development so check back often for software updates.
http://sourceforge.net/projects/sslexplorer
22. BirdSoft VPN-X
VPN-X is a Java/Cross-platform P2P/SSL/TLS VPN solution. Each user receives a unique ‘virtual’ IP address, and can connect with other users (clients) through the software; all network data is encrypted. Great for connecting two (or more) computers over long distances - friends can browse each others’ files & folders, set up LAN games, and chat. Download the VPN-X client here:
http://birdssoft.com
23. iOpus Private Internet Gateway (iPIG)
iPIG uses powerful 256-bit AES encryption technology, and the iOpus Private Internet Gateway (iPIG) creates a secure tunnel that protects your inbound and outbound communications (Email, Web, IM, VOIP, calls, FTP, etc.) at any Wi-Fi hotspot or wired network. OK, this one’s not free (only the first 10MB of data is free).
http://www.iopus.com/ipig
24. LOKI Network Project
Loki Network Project is a free VPN service and SSL based free VPN server which base on US. You can use it with free without registering as a member. Do not expect great speed as yet.
http://www.projectloki.com
25. Your Freedom
Your Freedom is not exactly a VPN service but functions like one. It provides both a free and paid service. Free service limits to six hours of usage per day (up to 18 hours per week). You need to install a client on your system and a user name & password to use this.
http://www.your-freedom.net
26. Ace VPN
Ace VPN makes use of open-source VPN client OpenVPN to provide its services, you simply install the client and use pre-configured config files to connect using your username and password. It has both Free and Paid options. The paid service is one of the cheapest ones out there.
http://www.acevpn.com
27. PaperBus
Finding new working ways for anonymous browsing is always a challenge, especially in countries like China where the government itself takes the initiative to block websites and also services that promise to provide means to access blocked websites.
There is a new way for you to browse the internet freely and luckily it is FREE as well! PaperBus is the latest ad-supported free web-browser proxy solution from the makers of commercial VPN service Freedur
PaperBus is pretty slick and easy to use. The best thing about the service is that it is really fast and requires no registration whatsoever. All you have to do is just download the Windows/Mac/Linux PaperBus proxy-client app and you are all set to browse the net anonymously from almost any web-browser, avoiding all the prying eyes including the Great Firewall.
Normally, the free proxy solutions are very slow, and do not load AJAX or java script heavy sites. Most of them do not support HTTPS connections and the application itself is usually bloated with ads. But PaperBus works like a charm – its fast, easy-to-use and seamless. There will be an odd popup of an ad every twenty minutes or so, but then it is Free!
PaperBus was launched 21st of January 2010 and hopes to become a serious contender to Hotspot Shield, Ultrasurf, Tor, NotMyIP and other free online anonymity applications. It works both for Internet Explorer and Firefox. I hope PaperBus stays on as a viable free solution similar to other Free VPN services available.
http://www.paperb.us
28. UltraSurf
UltraSurf is a flagship anti-censorship product by UltraReach Internet Corp. It protects users’ internet privacy, enables users inside countries with heavy Internet censorship to visit any public web sites in the world safely and freely.
http://www.ultrareach.com
We're still in the early days of blogging. It's not clear just yet what exactly makes a blog successful — we have some ideas, and we know some blogs succeed and others fail, but there just isn't a set of hard and fast rules about writing blog posts.
Lots of new bloggers struggle with the question of how to write better blog posts, how to attract more readers, or how to promote community. Luckily, there are simple ways to write better blog posts right away!
Find Your Niche
If you are planning to blog about life in New York City, understand ahead of time that no one’s really going to pay attention. The world is saturated with blogs, and while you may have a unique or engaging writing style and your stories about NYC may be completely mind blowing, people just aren’t drawn to blogs on such general subjects.
You need to look for a way to create a market and then corner it — what is it about your experience in New York that makes your voice worth listening to? A blog about the best out-of-the-way restaurants or your experience in graduate school at NYU is infinitely more interesting than a generic “NYC blog.”
The idea here is to blog in such a way that what you’re writing may be of use to someone else on the Internet. Make your blog about NYC interesting to people about to move there, or students applying to your graduate program. After all, creating a community is a huge part of the blogging experience.
Have a Goal
Your blog should have a purpose. You don’t need to be blogging to raise money for a political cause or blogging so you can sell your handmade trinkets — but there should be a purpose to your blogging. Bigger than that, each post on your blog should have its own goal.
Are you attempting to draw more readers in? Then link and talk about other bloggers. Ask questions of your audience. Post a poll — anything to get people involved. Or maybe your goal is just to add some content to your blog — add away. The point is, each blog post should be driven by something other than “Here I am writing on my blog.” Writing with a goal in mind will almost always produce better writing.
Write a Snappy Title
Blog post titles do count for something. Some say that a blog post’s title can make or break the blog. Target your blog post title to your blog’s goal — if you’re worried about your blog’s search traffic, you should use a title that can draw search engines, something simple and short.
Some people prefer to write titles to be funny or to draw people in with an outrageous phrase — if that’s the case, be creative. Sometimes people really do see a cool blog post title and click through to read what you have to say.
Use Appropriate Blog Style
Surely you’re already using proper grammar and spelling in your blog posts — now you need to think about the style of the blog itself.
Your blog can have whatever tone you want, from casual to formal. Your blog’s subject and the goal of the blog will influence this — a blog about the medical field may be fairly formal, while a conversational blog about being a Red Sox fan is likely to be more conversational. In general, blogging is far more conversational than journalism, but you don’t have to follow the trend.
Yes, vocabulary matters. Too many bloggers thumb their thesauruses to appear professional or intelligent, but in general, your blog’s style is best when it is conversational and informal.
Link It Up
Adding relevant links to other blogs is the best way to join the community of bloggers. When you link to another blogger’s post, and maybe spend the time to show the original blogger your post, you’re creating a bond between yourself and another blogger. These kinds of associations are often lucrative in terms of attracting readers to your blog, and if nothing else, it is good behavior in the blog world.
But links don’t have to be external — if you write pretty consistently on a certain topic, you may find it useful to link to your own pasts posts on the subject in the body of the blog. This will get readers peeking around the rest of your blog, and allows people to follow the entirety of an ongoing story on your blog. That’s called continuity.
Add Visuals
When you add images and other media to your blog, you are adding color to your page. Your blog will be easier to read with the addition of a graphic, and for some unknown reason, blog posts with visuals tend to have more views. This isn’t to say that a text-only blog would never work, but it is easier to excite your audience and keep them reading if you keep their eyes engaged with images.
Visuals don’t have to mean just images — try highlightiing important sections of your blog post to draw the reader’s eyes to something important. Anything you can add visually will make your blog post that much more readable.
Start All Over Again
Once you've gone through all these steps and improved your blog, you need to start the process all over again. Never stop improving your blog or your blog writing style.
Look back at your new blog posts — do you see any bad writing? Poorly worded phrases? Opportunities for links that you missed? Re-evaluating your blog changes is a huge part of writing good blog posts. There are lots of things to troubleshoot. Just don't leave it be. Try something. Try something with each new post. Change one element at a time and see if things improve. You have to constantly change your game plan to keep people interested in what you have to say.
We all want to write better blog posts. You may be well-versed in the art of literary or journalistic writing, but can't draw blog readers if your life depended on it. Making the small changes above should increase your blog traffic dramatically.
This post is divided into two parts, first 4 steps are regarding setting up your blog and last 6 steps are about making money off it.
Step 1
Setting up your blog
This is a fairly easy job, get a domain, install wordpress and you are done! Speaking about this, I prefer that you setup your blog in a separate .com domain, since it gives you some physiological credibility factor. Not to downgrade the blogs in blogspot and other free blog sites. The blogspot has some really fine bloggers like Kumiko, Mikes Money Making Missions and others who are making money off free blogs. But having a .com is as cheap as it can get. So, why not get one?
Step 2
Customizing and Branding
This means work for your creative side. Name your blog, something different, something catchy, create a logo, a header image, a tag line. In other words, you are creating a brand. Or you can always put your personal name up there and market your own brand! Put in some useful plugins if you are using wordpress. Initially put in some general useful plugins, as the blog grows, you will get new requirements, and hence new plugins.
Step 3
Posts and Content
I don’t have to tell you that need content to make some money, every 3rd grader knows that! So, put that thinking cap on and write those articles, anything, anything you know, want to share about. You can always use the power blogger tip if you want to! Once you have about 30 posts on your blog, proceed.
Step 4
Promotion
Have you installed the share plugins, the mybloglog widget and other promotional plugins that will allow easy sharing and viral promotion of your site? Now start moving out into the blogosphere and look for blogs that interest you and relates to your blog theme. Comment on them, join into the discussions at forums, put your blog URL where ever you can. Here is another gem of a tip: Comment on some blogs that have a nofollow off. Which means free back links and Google Love! CourtneyTuttle has a good D-List of bloggers who have nofollow turned off. Start there.
When you finish up all these steps, you have a nice little blog that is waiting to be monetized.
Step 5
Getting Recognized
This can be tricky and difficult, I am facing some difficulty in this as well. The point is to get maximum people know you, who you are as a blogger and as a person. If you have a look at my first post, I never really knew what to do with a blog, what to post and on what niche to concentrate. But these days I know the purpose, to make myself some money? yes, in a way, to post content related to the Internet, technology and gadgets and my views about them. I am not claiming that everyone reading this blog will make money like John Chow, but I will share tips that helped me make some money on the net. It may help you too.
Coming back to the topic of getting recognized in the “make money” sense means to get some authority for your blog, a Google PageRank, a useless but important Alexa Ranking, Technorati Rankings and back links are some of the factors used to judge your reach and recognition on the blogosphere.
Step 6
Ad Monetization
Google Adsense is every bloggers first step towards monetization, the easiest way. Sign up and place their code, get some clicks and get the paycheck. Sounds Easy? Well, its not! Frankly, I am not expecting my adsense check sometime in the next one year. This led me to explore some other options for monetization.
Step 7
Paid Posts
This is one of the biggest options and the best money making options available for your blog. If you have a page rank already, its a good way to make some extra dollars. The basic idea is to find a publisher and blog about them with a link and make some greens!
PayPerPost: They are my favorite and the first program I have used. brought me some nice greens in the first month. Its as simple as signing up, finding an oppurtunites in relation with your blog, blog about it and get the money in 30 days of posting it! Yea, its simple. Earlier they used to take almost a week to approve my posts, but now they approve it in 2-3 days at max.
LoudLaunch: Another PayPerPost with a nice design! They usually take 3 months to approve a blog. Duh! Serious. But the payment is faster than PPP. I have not used them yet, but am approved.
SponsoredReviews: This is a new player. While on the other two, the advertiser has no control over who takes the oppurtunity, this one needs each publisher to be approved before taking a opportunity. Nice for the advertiser, but not easy for the publisher. I have requested for some, they are in pending approval status. and this one has some good advertisers than the others.
Blogitive: I did this post on 07-May, with my power blogger tip, that I am using these days. But I got a mail yesterday, ie 08-May, that my blog has been accepted into the program. Have not got the time to review it yet. More updates and a post on paid blogging comming soon.
Step 8
Link Sales
This can fetch you some recurring money every month. I have not explored this one, since I am yet to get a decent PagrRank which is very much required to make some money off Link Sales. You can use some reputed companies like TLA to sell some ads, also directly sell them yourself at some busy forums like DigitalPoint, WebmastersHideout.
Step 9
Aff. Sales/Commisions
This is also a good money maker, if your blog is pinpoint on a niche, like cellphones. You can sell related stuff like accessories, covers and other things. I never use this since I think not many of my contacts online and offline use the internet for purchases. But the payouts are very good and can be more than 50% of the product value in some cases. The place to start with would be Clickbank.
Step 10
Keep your eyes on the blogosphere!
This means reading the blogs of some veteran bloggers like Shoemoney, Problogger, Copyblogger, JohnChow and other big name bloggers. Do share your favourite blogs in the comments section.
What are the easy ways to promote your blog? When you start a blog, its just you and your blog. Later you ask your handful of friends to visit your blog for fun, then later on you ask Search engines to visit your blog, and then later on you ask other bloggers to visit and finally you’ve promoted your blog in a way you didn’t exactly planned for!
Promoting is as very important part of blogging just as the content writing. Some professional bloggers keep promoting rather focusing on content. You always scratch your head on how to get people’s attention, that the tricky part of blogging. As we all know “Great wall of China wasn’t built in a day, it took years!“. So will we, but not years though. Here are some solid tips where you can promote your blog in a professional respectable manner.
I’ll split this into 5 main categories and 10 subcategories so that you’ll find it easy to read.
Blog Promotion Basics
- Make blogging easier and navigational.
- Have good looking and attractive web design, so that people revisit your blog.
- Patience is the key.
- Self Motivation is required.
- Have controversial articles and interesting discussions.
- Have positive attitude and don’t frustrate yourself.
- Be sure on your context, which belong to your niche.
- Do some thing to your blog everyday, and traffic is seen. The more you do, the more you get.
- Help out people with blogs similar to your level.
- Be consistent and scheduled. Most importantly plan you every move.
Content is King
- Write more and more unique posts.
- Have more than 150+ resources and articles.
- Guide people about something, teach them something new.
- After you article is indexed by search engines, submit it to various article directories like ezinearticles.com
- Write about Big shots and their controversy.
- Interview big cool bloggers in your niche, and share about their views and ideas.
- Look out for popular content that’s gaining traffic, and write about it in a humorous way.
- Give a press release about unique news, if you have any.
- Pay others to write good articles for you. (I disagree with this, but you are welcome to give it a try!)
- Be the first commenter on the posts of popular blogs, but let it be worth.
Viral and Social Networks
- Create a Fan page on facebook. Also create a facebook app for your blog.
- Customize the landing page of facebook.
- Start an open group on Yahoo and invite people or have a widget on your blog.
- Buy the accounts of popular YouTubers and then add your blog address to the descriptions of their videos.
- Start Stumbleupon promotional ads campaign
- Sign up at ping.fm and use twitterfeed.com to auto post your latest blog content to a bunch of social networks.
- Have a facebook share and retweet button for every other post. (you can see it on top-right side!)
- Have a squidoo page, as it will get indexed faster in search engines.
- Include hash(#) tags in your tweets.
- Twitter – Follow relevant, popular, and interesting people. And some will follow you back.
Bloggers and People
- Tell you neighborhood, family and friends about your blog.
- Search for your niche and answer any questions people have. (if you have free time!)
- Submit your content to dofollow social bookmarking sites.
- Send out a Press release.
- Signup for various communities and be active in relevant Ning.com communities.
- Write some content as a linkbait.
- If your post is relevant to other blogging sites, then try interlinking posts, so as to get deep inbound links.
- Signup for every other social network you can.
- Start a podcast and submit it to various podcast directories.
- Talk to professional bloggers about your post and ask them to review it.
Viral Marketing
- Link exchange.
- Install All In One SEO Pack for WordPress blogs.
- Create a theme, that includes a link to your blog in the footer, and then release it for free.
- If you are a developer, create a wordpress plugin and release it for free with a link to your blog within the admin area.
- Sponsor some tweets and be an active stumbler to know what stumblers like.
- Use blog search from Google to find fresh blog posts and then leave comments.
- Write a guest post for a popular blog. You may not always get published, but when you do you observe a spike in Google analytics.
- Use Thesis for better optimization and plugins.
- Join relevant forums, add your blog address to your signature and start posting smartly.
- Join a social blog network.
How to drive traffic to your blog? Traffic Generation is so crucial to any web business that depends on unique visitors to survive. Blogs like Mashable, Techcrunch, Problogger.com, Copyblogger.com and Zen Habits generate tons of traffic daily. Traffic is the key to online businesses which depend on visitors to make money. if you have targeted traffic in abundance then you will laugh all the way to the bank when you begin to monetize your blog.
My quest to drive traffic to my blog (Martik-Scorp) motivated me to compile this list. It has taken me a lot of site registrations to sometimes submit my blog. Traffic generation demands a lot of work and commitment. Your blog’s link needs to be on several sites to be able to see the kind of traffic you expect.
I must confess that I am still using the sites I have provided below, some have worked pretty well and others don’t make a lot of difference. It’s a combination of different strategies and you stick to the ones that bring in the most traffic. Promotion will be a very large component of your success with your blog, and its an ongoing process and trust me it takes time and commitment.
Treat your blog like a business that needs planning. Set out your goals. Are you blogging just to educate your niche or to inform them? Do you intend to monetize your blog? If yes, that is why you must approach your blog like a business. What would you do with a business to help it grow? You promote it. This is essentially what you need to do with your blog if you want people to read it.
Ebooks Directories
Most e-books directories offer the best of e-books from different categories. A lot of people visit these sites to download books to enhance and boost their blogging career.
Compile some of your best and popular posts into e-books and submit them to some of the great sites listed in this collection. If you intend to monetize your blog, you can offer the short books you create for free on your site as a downloadable version, but offer it in exchange for the users’ email address. This way you can send them future products or free products and advertise to them as well.
Here are some great sites for your E-book submissions:
ebookjunke.com
ebook88.com
thefreesite.com
getfreeebooks.com
changethis.com
ebooksubmit.com
getfreeebooks.com
ideamarketers.com/bookpr.cfm
mind-like-water.com
Blog Directories
Blog directories are useful places people search for blog posts. Don’t be left out when your target market in the results displayed in these sites. Make a conscious effort to send your blog to at least one blog directory every day when you check your blog traffic for the day. It’s the submissions that bring in the traffic you want to see increase.
Here are some great sites for blog submission:
Blogged.com
BlogCatalog.com
blogcarnival.com
technorati.com
topblogarea.com
topblogging.com
blogtoplist.com
fuelmyblog.com
bloggingfusion.com
bloghop.com
blogarama.com
topbloglists.com
bloghop.com
blogs.botw.org
bloggeries.com
icerocket.com
yousaytoo.com
blogsearchengine.com
Social Media Marketing
Almost every blog now has a way to share posts on multiple social media sites. This works for some niche sites but unfortunately it does not work for others. Mashable gets tons of traffic from social media sites. Posts are submitted multiple times to Twitter, Digg, Facebook and the new Google buzz makes it even better. Some of these sites you know already, I will not waste your time by repeating these links or sites.
But what I can say is that it depends on your niche. Choose and monitor your social media marketing carefully. Stumbleupon and hacker news works very well for my martik-scorp blog because users of the niche I have chosen. I expose plugins and applications that can boost and enhance your blogging experience. There are also a lot of How-to articles on my blog.
Online News / Tools Aggregation sites
This category has a lot in common with social media marketing. Digg, Stumbleupon, Reddit, Slashdot and Delicious all qualify for this category as well. You are familiar with most of them. Provide buttons to these sites on your blog and your users will bring you tons of traffic.
News aggregation is very popular in recent times; fortunately some of the sites allow users to submit their news or stories to their sites for their readers. Y combinator’s hacker news aggregation is not known for good design but it can send a lot of traffic to your site if your article or post will be useful for startup founders, or technology news readers. With compelling headlines and descriptions, you can quickly gain traffic to your blog.
Here are some great sites for news aggregation submission:
N4G.com is great for game news
BizHeat.com for business news
Y Combinator for tech new
Podcast Directories
Some readers prefer podcasts to reading your text online. Give them what they want when they them ta the places they find them most. You can convert your blog posts into podcasts with Vozmo.
Here are some great sites for podcast submission:
podcastdirectory.com
podcastalley.com
podiobooks.com
odeo.com
podcastempire.com
Video Marketing
Video streaming and downloading is very popular among some section of blog readers. You may have your videos scattered on multiple video sites. If you have not done that already and are wondering how to convert that top and popular post into a video, you can try ArticleVideoRobot, Camtasia Studio and here is a great site for video submission: tubemogul.com
Article Directories
Article directories work best for your popular posts. All you need to do is to submit your top posts to as many article directories as possible. Don’t waste your time on directories without a better page rank because they will do you no good. Make sure you sign off at the footer with your link. I will submit the content of this e-book to the directories I have provided below.
Here are some great sites for article submission:
ezinearticles.com
goarticles.com
ehow.com
articlesbase.com
50 Article Directories by PageRank
Guest Posting
If a post is drawing a lot of traffic, then certainly a lot of your users are finding it useful. To generate even greater amount of traffic from that post submit it to authors of blogs in your niche for publication on their blogs, Some bloggers encourage guest posting and accept great post on their sites. This is one of the best ways to gain acknowledgment in your niche.
Document Sharing Marketing
Sharing your post on a PowerPoint could take a lot of time, but once that is done you can send or submit it to multiple document sharing sites. It has a significant impact on the number of people who could land on your blog from these sites. I use slideshare.com to distribute my slides and those posts keep sending traffic to my alltopstartup blog. Remember link back to your blog with your url when creating the PowerPoint slide. Putting hyperlinks on your slides makes it easy.
Here are some great sites for document submission:
scribd.com
docstoc.com
slideshare.net
issuu.com
edocr.com
empressr.com
yudu.com
docshare.com
calameo.com
RSS Feed Submissions
Many blog users immediately scan your blog for an RSS feed if they like your content once they land on your blog. RSS traffic constitutes some of your loyal readers. If your content is great don’t hesitate to publicize your feeds and provide a way for subscribers to sign on your feeds easily.
Here are some great sites for RSS submission:
rss-feed.org
rsshugger.com
feedfury.com
feedest.com
rss-spider.com
feedlisting.com
feedgy.com
rssmountain.com/rss_directory.php
readburner.com
Automatic Blog / RSS Submissions
Blogs can be submitted automatically with a single registration. Some sites provide this service for free, whilst other charge to submit your blog URL and description to multiple sites. The greater the number of your links scattered on the web on other sites, the higher your page ranks on search engines and sites like Compete and Alexa. There are other sites that are interested in pinging your blog or its RSS on other sites when you post new content. It helps to ping your blog from time to time.
Here are some great sites for multiple blog and RSS submission:
Submitterbot.com
Ping your Blog on these sites:
pingmyblog.com
List of pinging addresses
Blog Communities
Bloggers share ideas links, tips, and learn from each other on blog communities. Joining a community gives you the opportunity to interact with other bloggers and possibly share and exchange links. The most important thing is to make contact with other users and develop relationships when you join forums and communities.
Here are some great communities and Forums you can join:
MyBlogLog
Blogengage.com
Entrecard.com
If you are committed to promote your blog to the max, there is no denying of the fact that it will pay of finally when you begin to monetize it. Take time to build the blog and gain the traffic and the money will follow. Notwithstanding if you plan to monetize your blog introduce your ads as soon you think you are ready to sell ads.
Your users should be used to the ads whilst you still have time. If ads begin to battle for space when you finally introduce it, your faithful readers will read into your intentions quicker than you think. I hope you have submitted your links to at least 50 of the links above. If you have, you have done what is required of you as a blogger, but don’t stop its an ongoing process.
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